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How ’bout Mary Ann Summers a/k/a Dawn Wells? Not only did she get popped for marijuana possession on her birthday, but the Girl Scouts have dis-invited her to speak in Palm Beach (FL) next month. Problem is, she was innocent...really! Just click right here and you’ll hear read the tale…
Here’s the rest of the story: Poor Dawn really was innocent. All charges really were dismissed…and not beca use Thurston Howell III’s attorneys stepped in on her behalf.
Apparently, none of those hippocrites at the Girl Scouts have ever done bong hits around the fire after the girls have gone to sleep. Oh surrrrrrrrre they haven't...
Speaking of the Girl Scouts: Hey President Bush, If we’re not in a recession, then how do you explain the  lengths Girl Scouts are now having to go to to sell their wares?
An economy on thin ice is hurting sales of Thin Mints. Girl Scout and Brownie troops say cookie sales are noticeably down this year as their customers struggle to pay for groceries, gasoline and home heating fuel.
It's gettin' ugly out there, goyles...
Are you as frustrated as this (young) frustrated consumer obviously is? Are you being pestered by telemarketers even though you’re on Do Not Call lists? Believe it or not, she's e-x-t-r-e-m-e-l-y agitated over receiving calls when she's in her  room, while she's on the playground, and on her cell phone when she's playing over at Horrey Soozagin's house.
Here's the good news: There is no special Do Not Call list just for cell phones. Personal cell phone users have always been able to add their numbers to the National Do Not Call Registry — the same Registry consumers use to register their land lines.
Take charge now! To list your home and cell phone numbers on the Do Not Call Registry, visit www.donotcall.gov online or call toll-free 1-888-382-1222 from the telephone number you wish to register. Registrations become effective within 31 days of signing up. There is no cut-off date or deadline for registrations.
Jenny Jenny, who can I turn to? What in the name of Tommy Tutone is goin’ here? Rogue telemarketers have gone nuts and are running auto-dialing amok in Delaware! Read what they’re doing in the middle of the night!
Wanna know why you SHOULDN'T listen to the "here's how to fix your mortgage woes" advice any of these men are serving up?
It's pull-no-punches advice and the unadulterated truth that's not being reported anywhere else in the nation. Find out why millions of Americans are about to make their financial messes even worse (as hard as that may be to imagine). You can't afford to miss the latest "Dose of Dover": Wake Up, America! The Biggest Betrayal Since Benedict Arnold Is Unfolding Before Your Eyes.
It's getting ugly out there...
What in the name of Cain is going on here? From iPods to navigation systems, some of today's hottest gadgets are landing on store shelves with some unwanted extras from the factory — pre-installed viruses that steal passwords, open doors for hackers  and make computers spew spam!
Those crazy Chinese are at it again, and I'm not talkin' about using too much MSG, either: Computer users have been warned for years about virus threats from downloading Internet porn and opening suspicious e-mail attachments. Now they run the risk of picking up a digital infection just by plugging a new gizmo into their PCs.
Recent cases reviewed by The Associated Press include some of the most widely used tech devices: Apple iPods, digital picture frames sold by Target and Best Buy stores and TomTom navigation gear. In most cases, Chinese factories — where many companies have turned to keep prices low — are the source.
Read more about this not-so-ancient-Chinese-secret and click here...
From the too little/too late department, Part I: The Fed’s decided it's probably time to begin revamping mortgage lending rules…you think?
When asked a recent lecture how long he's giving the economy before it completely tanks thanks to the lax lending policies encouraged on his watch as chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greenspan exclaimed: "Five more months until the entire credit world collapses thanks to me and W!"
[Okay, I admit it. I made that quote up.]
See, it's not all Ben Bernanke's fault after all...read about the 'new rules' here.
 From the too little/too late department, Part II: HUD wants mortgage costs made clear to borrowers, so they're recommending some major changes in the way all of the assorted fees, closing costs and other exorbitant charges that we've all come to expect at the closing table.
Mortgage lenders would be required to give better estimates of closing costs and improve disclosure of payments to mortgage brokers under rules proposed Friday by the President Bush and the Department of Housing and Urban Development. The new rules would require closing costs to be clearly laid out so consumers can shop for the best loan, and put limits on the changes allowed in that estimate, the department said.
We are absolutely tickled to have gotten our hands on some advance copies of illustrations HUD is expected to demand all real estate, funding and title company-related entities integrate into all Good Faith Estimates and closing documents later this year, in the interest of clearer disclosures before-the-fact.
Headline from The New York Times: “Debt Collectors Try to Put on a Friendlier Face.”
The  operative word? “Try.” Business has never been better…you've gotta read the spin on the "kinder and gentler" debt collectors. Of course if you believe the B.S. the Times printed about them, you probably also believe that Ken Lay was misunderstood, and that there were Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq.
If you'd like a dose of reality and advice guaranteed to protect you or someone you like or love from these bottom-feeding tele-terrorists, click here.
Wanna punch up your next party? Here's a new brand of vodka that'll add some bite to your next alc ohol-fueled soiree: From the "only in Texas file" comes a new type of moonshine that I guarantee you've never had a chance to sample.
Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission agents seized 411 bottles of illegal hooch Thursday at Bayou Bob's Brazos River Rattlesnake Ranch in Palo Pinto County. But it wasn't your typical variety of moonshine: the bottles of vodka also contained 10-inch rattlesnakes.
I'd love to see the look on the face of some soused-sap cracking a bottle of this stuff. Read all about it here...
Planning on visiting a cemetery anytime soon? You'd better read this or you could end up on the burglary victims' list  faster than you can say "Mistuh Fwench!" A smash-and-grab gang is targeting visitors to Harris County (Houston, TX) cemeteries, making off with everything from credit cards to sandwiches faster than you can say "rest in peace." More than 30 auto burglaries have been reported since the Christmas holidays, said Lt. Lofton Harrison, head of the Harris County sheriff's auto theft/burglary division. Harrison said his department began receiving complaints late last year.
The victims typically are middle-aged or older women who visit cemeteries alone. Often, he said, victims leave their autos unlocked, but in some cases the thieves smash windows to gain entry.
"Most of these guys are doing identity fraud crimes," Harrison said. Male thieves typically use stolen credit or debit cards at service stations; female accomplices usually attempt to use stolen checks. Read the rest of the story about honoring those RIP and what you can do to avoid being SOL...
Speaking of burying stuff, do you know how to make the "fix or forget" decision? We really do live in a world that  engineers intentional obsolescence into the design of just about everything electronic...especially stuff like computers or cameras.
Do you how to make the best fix-or-throw decisions? From iPods to coffee makers to lawn mowers and refrigerators, at least now you'll have a little more confidence in your quest to stretch your budget. Read all about it here...
 You have been listening to Ben's weekly broadcasts, haven't you?
C'mon Einstein! You don't have to have an iPod or a satellite radio to get your Dose of Dover radio fix!
 Forget Easter...this news makes it feel like Christmas...or Kwanzaa or Festivus or Hanukkah!
Seriously...turn up the speakers and enjoy Ben like the good ol' days, sans obnoxious commercials, "traffic-and-weather-together" breaks and irritating self-congratulatory promos.
Listen to a self-congratulatory Ben instead by clicking here...
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