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Nahhhhh...just some chimp who wouldn't drop his weapon after the police verbally warned him: End result? Cops 1, Dead Monkeys 0. Sad but true, and only in this week's edition of Ben's Blog...
Cop verbally warns, then kills gun-wielding assailant: Unfortunately the dead perp didn’t speak English since he was a chimpanzee...
You won't w ant to miss this week's Dose of Dover: "NostraDover" is in fine form once again, and give you a glimpse of where we are going to be, economically-speaking, as a nation 1 year from now. Yes, it's a major eye opener...and it's available right here, right now.
GOOD NEWS!!! The banks are so busy dealing with skyrocketing foreclosures that they are willing to ignore the fact that you've failed to  pay your mortgage for the past six months...which adds up to only one thing: House Party!!! Banks are so overwhelmed by the U.S. housing crisis they've started to look the other way when homeowners stop paying their mortgages.
The number of borrowers at least 90 days late on their home loans rose to 3.6 percent at the end of December, the highest in at least five years, according to the Mortgage Bankers Association in Washington. That figure, for the first time, is almost double the 2 percent who have been foreclosed on.
Hmmmmm...sounds like you might get a little more cushion in your cash flow, or not. Read the rest of the story before you start skipping payments...
Think the interest rates on your credit cards are high? Check out the  newest Visa card on the block: 365%!
I don't have to make this stuff up. Credit card-based greed takes on new proportions from the land of stuffy sex and bad teeth...
I know money's tight, which means many of you might start  pawning stuff like gold jewelry and electronics: Here's some advice for those of you who might consider pawning your video camera. Be sure to remove the tape, especially when that tape shows you giving a joint to a baby.
Once again, I don't have to make this stuff up...
If your bonus is in danger because you drove your company into the ground, no problem. Just change the bonus rules! Like most mortgage lenders, Washington Mutual has been forced to set aside huge sums to  cover soured home loans and the declining market value of its mortgage-backed securities.
They've cut thousands of jobs and seen its share price plunge by two-thirds during the past six months. But check this out: WaMu's 2008 bonus plan for about 3,000 top employees specifically excludes the effects of bad-loan set-asides, foreclosures and restructuring costs from the financial criteria used to judge the executives! And we're supposed to feel sorry for this industry?!?!?
Read all about their crocodile tears and get ready to write some letters to your lawmakers in Washington the minute these jerkoffs start beggin' for help-with-no-strings...
So how lazy are you? If you're too lazy to read this week's predictably-insightful and always eye-opening Dose of Dover, then turn up your speakers and click here and listen to the enhanced, streaming audio version.
(What else would you like Ben to do, come over and read to you before you go to sleep tonight???) Heh, heh, heh...
Whose testicles are the size of bowling balls?
Hint #1: He’s suing his employer for wrongful termination.
Hint #2: His bad judgment cost his former employer
$8 billion.
Altogether now: D’oh!
Homebuilders threatened to dump all their remaining houses on the market at cut rate prices unless they got a $6 billion tax break from Congress. Can you say blackmail, boys and girls? Sure you can!
Senate Democrats and Republicans have agreed on a plan to resurrect a dismal housing market. But, before a vote can even be taken, many are questioning if it will work and if the plan unfairly helps some of the big companies whom they blame for the housing mess. One of the biggest provisions — costing taxpayers an estimated $6 billion — would allow builders and others in the housing business to count their losses this year and in 2009 against the big profits they made as far back as 2004.
"I can't really imagine what Congress thought putting that in there. It's basically a handout to the builders and the mortgage industry," said Dean Baker, co-director of the Center for Economic and Policy Research, a liberal-leaning think tank. "To my mind, those are two of the big villains in this story and why you would be looking to give them a tax break at this point, I just can't really understand. That part is of no help."
Before you read the rest of the story, have a some fun watching CNBC's Jim Cramer meltdown about this latest example of the screwing of the American homeowner. Amazing.....
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